Elaine Duncan on Abandoning Perfection, Claiming Identity, and Turning Pain into Purpose

Host Liz Sweigart met Elaine Duncan several years ago after Liz posted a vulnerable mental-health reflection on LinkedIn. Elaine—moved by the post—sent a cold DM of gratitude. One phone call (no video, just listening) sparked a friendship rooted in deep conversation, shared writing classes, and mutual permission to shed every professional mask.

In this Past the Profile episode, Elaine—writer, consultant, and author-in-progress of the memoir Mercy—revisits that first call and traces her long journey from corporate over-achiever to mountain-top writer exploring complex trauma, mid-life ADHD diagnosis, and psychedelic healing. She and Liz discuss how writing allows her not to abandon herself, how women’s careers often mirror unhealed childhood scripts, and the practical next steps she’s taking to land a literary agent for a story that hasn’t been told: the psychological impact of mega-adoption on biological children.

Highlights

• Writing as self-rescue — journaling and memoir draft-after-draft turned rage into compassion for her mother and herself.
• Diagnosis in midlife — how CPTSD + ADHD reframed decades of depression loops and people-pleasing.
• Sacred practice — ceremonial breathwork, plant medicine, and woodland solitude that “let the book write itself.”
• Mercy & forgiveness — discovering that compassion for parents (and their parents) is the hinge of inter-generational healing.
• What she needs now — introductions to literary agents who champion extraordinary, research-backed memoir; panels or podcasts on adoption, trauma, or women’s mid-life awakenings.

Connect with Elaine Duncan

• Medium → https://medium.com/@eduncanbc
• Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/elainetduncan/
• LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/elaine-duncan-a9a6126/
• Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/eleibsohn